Standin’ on the corner
Not doin’ nothin’ to no one.
When a squad car stops
And out jump cops
You one of them, if I ever saw one.
Wonder what I said
As my face turned red
Up against the wall, says the tall one.
That’s a cute mustache
Have ya got any hash?
I’d like to make a buy, says the small one.
Now da whole thing’s silly
But I’m starin’ at the billy
Quietly askin’ myself now will he …
Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It’s all a bad dream
And I’m in South Philly
Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner …
Me and Mr. Hohner
In Yuma, Arizona
Tryin’ to hitch a ride to Denver.
Well, out of a toll
Comes the highway patrol
To check up on my gender.
Is it her or him
Or maybe Tiny Tim?
Now up against the fence, says the dense one.
You have picked a bad spot
To smoke your pot
Whatcha gonna do two against one?
Now da whole thing’s silly
But I’m starin’ at the billy
Quietly askin’ myself now will he …
Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It’s all a bad dream
And I’m in South Philly
Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner …
Me and Mr. Hohner
Relaxin’ out at Kona
Hawaiian sun can be groovy.
When a pair of MPs
Yell out, freeze!
And I think I gotta part in a movie.
Hey! I’m talkin’ to you
Tell me what did I do?
You’re a draft card burner, says the thin one.
We can tell by your looks
That you read too many books of wars
And that’s because ya ain’t been in one.
Now the whole thing’s silly
But I’m starin’ at the billy
Quietly askin’ myself now will he …
Use that thing
To make my eardrums ring
It’s all a bad dream
And I’m in South Philly
Now tell ‘em, Mr. Hohner …
